spoon

Flight

Category: , , ,

A few months back I participated in a short fiction contest. The topic was the picture below. The contestants were asked to interpret the picture in anyway they wanted and weave a story in not more than 250 words.

There were around 230 participants. I didn’t win, but I was listed among the top scorers.

I’d somehow forgotten to post it. Doing it now.

*********


Valoury, the bird, was flying majestically over the trees, high up in the sky. Even though he was born a bird, he’d never believed he could fly. ‘I don’t think I could fly, mamma,’ he’d confided in his mother when he was little. ‘Remember, son. You are born to fly,’ his mother had said. Those words had instilled the much needed confidence in him. And now, reminiscing that moment, he flew higher.

After flying for about an hour, Valoury decided to rest. He flew down to a house and sat on the compound.

***

Upon seeing the bird, Viplav, who was playing in the veranda, came running to his mother. He looked morose.

“What happened, dear?” his mother asked.

“I can’t fly like a bird, can I, ma?”

She looked at her five year old son and smiled. Viplav eagerly awaited her response. She gave a peck on his cheek and said simply, “Why not, sweetheart? Of course you can fly. You can become a pilot and fly aeroplanes.”

Viplav’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yes, my love,” said his mother and kissed him again.

***

Now, Valoury and Viplav were face to face with each other. Staying true to his name, Valoury had not flown away in spite of being approached by a human. They looked at each other in mute amazement. The bird saw his past in the boy, and the boy saw his future in the bird.

********************The End********************

Copyright © Karthik 2010

Comments (35)

Wow finally Karthik posts a story which is actually short. :P
I waited for this day. *stifles a sob*
I think you've interpreted the picture perfectly. Flying signifies freedom or letting go of one's fears I surmise.

I remember reading this..you gave me the link..it is written very well :)

Karthik!!! Such short story from you? Oh my!! (pinches myself) to check if I am not dreaming :-P

Coming to the story, your interpretation of the picture comes with a beautiful message. Both the bird and the boy realize their desire. The mother of the bird and the boy encouraged....You need encouragement and confidence to pursue. Excellent!

By the way, I loved the name 'Valoury' . Why did you choose? Valor? Related to valor? The bird's quality?

A short story... from you!!!! that too a really short one!!! wow!

Jokes apart, I loved the concluding sentence ;-)

The story feels even smaller coming from you. I wish i could fly you know. Not like a pilot nor in a plane but like a bird flapping my wings *sighs*.

A really positive story - it reads like a parable

Oye! The story is actually short! *Fainting* ;)
Good one, Karthik. nice positive feel to it! :)

A nice story Karthik...I loved the last line..

wow.. loved the positive attitude of characters of this story..
:) :)

Namaskara Saar!

I remember the story and also our little conversation about the contest. You had encouraged me to submit a story which didn't happen :( Nevertheless, I liked reading yours and re-reading it, for your stories are not 'read and forget' kind of stories.

It has an Aesop's Fables 'feel'(innocent,untouched and unscathed by the worldly vices) to it where the effect of the story lingers on long after reading it.

If an amateur writer can write such flawless stories, it only means, as time goes by, he can get better than the best :) You've come a long way and shall get farther than this I'm sure.

Keep treating your readers with delightful stories like you unfailingly have done so far.

Cheers! :)

Loved the way you connected the two stories with a wonderful message brimming in optimism.

Beautiful story :)

Cheers!!

You can weave a story from just about anything, eh? The surprise of course is the limited 250 words edition! But it does have a crisp and strong message. Nice:)

Loved the message. The last line was just wow! :)

short n positive .... nice work

Sammy,
Lol.. :D yeah, yeah, make fun.
I shall get back to my version of "short" stories soon. :P

You are right. Flying signifies freedom and letting go of one's fears.
Thanks, Sammy. :)

Neha,
Yeah, I remember. Been a long time already, right? Dunno how I forgot to post it. Either ways, thanks - again. :)

Insignia,
Hehehe... :D It IS short in its purest sense, isn't it? The word limit made me scowl, to tell you the truth. But had to do it anyway. :D

Thank you so much. :)
And yes, the name of the bird, Valoury, indeed comes from the word Valour.

Debosmita,
:D :D It is short, eh?
Thanks a lot, Debs. :)
Will come up with a "SHORT" story soon. ;)

Harini,
Who doesn't, my dear? ;)
Thanks a lot, Harini.

Phoenixritu,
Thank you so much, ma'am. :)

Preeti,
Acha? So now it's your turn to faint, eh? Koi pani lao bhai. :D
Thanks, Preeti. Glad you liked it. :)

Shahid,
Thanks, man. Last sentence is my favourite too. :)

Deepa,
Thanks a lot, Deepa. :)

Raksha,
Namaskara, namaskara, namaskara!

Hey keep checking. They keep conducting once in a while. I got bored with it. So didn't participate again.

You've already showered me with praises for this story. But never mind. I'm yanjaaying it again. :D
Thanks, Rock. So glad you liked it. :)

dialoguewithyou,
Thank you so much, CB. Coming from a passionate writer such as yourself, it means a lot. :)

RGB,
That was a great compliment, RGB. Thank you so much. Very glad you liked it. :)

Destiny's child,
Yo! Thanks a lot, Veena. :)

Naveen,
Thanks, man. :)

With this you have proven yet again your mastery of words. Long or short story, you impregnate the words with meanings that that can be interpreted at different levels. Hat off to you.

No wonder you were listed at the top Karthik! They say "precisious is the soul of wit"; and I have little else to say! Proud of you and *APPLAUSE*

The Holy Lama,
Whoa! That's a mighty compliment. You made my day.:)
Thank you so much.

Srini,
Yo, man! Thanks a lot. :)

Interesting story. And once again really different from usual.

That was very nice story.. simple and sweet. Me likes!

I must digg your article therefore other folks are able to see it, very helpful, I had a hard time finding the results searching on the web, thanks.

- Thomas

I wonder why you didn't win. Your depiction of the picture was more than perfect. Loved the story :)

Nice one dude.... :)

Karthik...loooong time, man!!!

Gosh I missed reading ur blog!!!

N this one's such alovely written post!!
I hav to catch up on others that i've missed too...
keep up d gud work!!:)

What happens next? ;)

and you wonder why it was in the top list.. well BECAUSE ITS BLOODY MARVELLOUS :)


Bikram's

veru nive caricature....no wonder u deservd wot u got..long tym to see u again

Absolutely brilliant story Karthik.
Such a short one from you came as a surprise but as long as the essence of the story is told does the size matter?
What a simple and well-told tale of the bird and the boy. The closing line made it a piece I've never read before!
Congratulations on yet another rung of excellence reached.

The Fool,
Thanks, man. :)

Pallavi,
Thanks, Pallavi. :)

Anonymous Thomas,
Welcome to Eloquence Redefined. Keep visiting. Thanks.

Pulkit,
There were about 250 participants, man. I tried my best. But thank you so much. That was a pleasant compliment.

Mak,
Thanks, dude.

Jaunty,
Oh ho! Look who's here. Where had you disappeared? I missed your comments.
Thanks a lot, Rhythm. Glad you liked it. :)

Guria,
It's confidential. ;)

Bikram,
Thank you thank you. So glad you liked it. :)

Vineet,
Hey, dude. Long time. Hope you are doing well.
Thanks a lot, mate. :)

Vibz,
Thank you so much, Vibz. Those were some beautiful words indeed. Made my day. :)
The word limit was 250. So couldn't have dragged it.

The Fool, Pallavi, Pulkit, Mak, Rhythm, G, Bikky, Vineet, Vibz,
Sorry for the late reply. Was keeping a bit busy.

Hi,
We have read few of your posts and your blog is amazing. Thus we are leaving this comment.
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Where are you?? Been so long since you posted something!

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