spoon

Philosophy with a cup of Coffee

Category: , , , ,



1


We got up at 7 in the morning. Gilli, Subba, Gidda and I finished our ablutions as quickly as possible, dressed up and hit the campus. The remaining boys would join us later.

It was a bright, shiny morning. The campus was clamorous to the core. We were in Siddaganga Institute of Technology, Tumkur – a place well over 250 kms away from our College. The only reason we had decided to take part in the cultural fest organized by the University was to bunk classes. No assignments, no internals, no dozing in the last bench, in short no boring stuff for at least two and a half weeks – two weeks practice, five days fest.

We took around 25 photographs in the span of 5 minutes. There was a tough competition between the memory of our cameras and the girls in the campus. Well, no sooner had we started walking towards the small coffee shop than Apeksha, our dear friend, met with us. She was with her gang of friends.

“Oh, damn it! Junglee Billis! Let’s get away from here before they start scratching us, dudes,” Gilli said, clutching my shirt. He wasn’t referring to Apeksha, but the girls that were standing next to her.

They were the participants of a dance competition, and their item was something to do with the culture of Jungle village. Their costumes were another matter of course. Hence the name Junglee Billis!

“Hey Appi, how is your ashram?” Subba asked joyfully.

“Oh, don’t ask anything about it,” she said, cringing.

“All right. I’ll ask something else. How is your ashram?”

“What seems to be the problem?” I asked, ignoring Subba.

“Those JNNC girls from Shimoga are sharing our room, man. They are showing a lot of attitude,” she said and looked at her junglee gang. They nodded in agreement.

“Oh, I get it. You mean bathroom fighting, right?” Gilli said and sniggered.

“Yeah, that too. We’ve been given such a filthy place.”

She continued after a moment’s silence. “Those bitches have such foul mouths, guys. Bloody bimbos started using profanity, you know. They even slapped one of our juniors,” she said.

“Dude, she is hiding something. I’m sure they’ve had a women’s wrestling match, and not just slapping and cursing. Gosh! I’d give anything in the world to see those things live,” Gilli whispered into my ears.

“What did he say?” Appi asked, arching her brows.

“No, nothing. Did you talk to our lecturers? They might be able to arrange a different room for you all.”

“We did. It was no use.”

Appi then pointed us in a direction and said, “Look. Those are the girls I was talking about.”

We saw a few girls standing with a few boys next to a yellow bus. They were at least 50 yards away from us.

“Come, let’s go to them and have a talk. How could they behave like that with our team-mates?” Subba said, surprising everyone.

“You are gonna talk to those girls?” Gilli asked. No one could tell whether that was a question or a statement.

“As you all know I am from Shimoga too. So I shall talk to them if I happen to know any of them,” Subba said and started walking towards them.

“Yeah, right. Let’s teach them a lesson,” Gilli said, and we followed Subba’s suit, leaving Appi and her Junglee Billi gang behind us.


2


As we went closer to them, they taught us a lesson instead. A lesson of Beauty! There was not a dog’s chance Subba could’ve known any of them. They were so damn beautiful! Surely they must have been sent from heavens to show us mortals what beauty was. People talk about writing and reading poetry, but we were actually seeing it – literally. We were left speechless. Those angels took our hearts for guitars and played a soft music by using the veins as strings! They really took our breath away!

We didn’t have anything to say or do, so we silently returned.

Appi and the Junglee Billis were eagerly waiting for our arrival.

“And….?” Appi asked.

“And what?” Subba snapped.

The girls looked at us confusingly.

“How could you pick up a fight with such nice bab…I mean girls, girls? Did you all forget your manners?” Gilli asked.

“What?!” Sushma, one of the Junglee Billis, hollered.

“You should learn to share things, girls,” Gilli went on. “Instead of that you fought with them? Damn! We are really ashamed of you.”

The girls looked at each other and then looked at us as if we were terrorists. I looked at Appi and a smile flitted across her face. She knew us very well.

“When you come to an alien place like this, you should learn to adjust with others. Gosh! Girls and their bathroom fights!” Subba contributed.

“Well, don’t you have anything to say?” Appi asked me just for the heck of it.

I just lifted my right hand up and said, “I say ‘Aye’ to whatever Subba and Gilli just said.”

“You guys are sick! You know that?! You guys are sick!” Sushma yelled at us and walked away with her gang, leaving Appi with us.


3


We bought coffee and sat on a stone bench next to the coffee shop.

“So what happened there?” Appi started the conversation.

“Ask what didn’t happen,” Gidda, who hadn’t spoken a single word till now, said nonchalantly.

When everyone had his attention, he said, “I’m gonna propose to one of those girls by the end of this fest.”

“What? Which girl?” I asked.

“I haven’t decided on that yet.” Shabhas!

Gilli laughed hard. When we questioned him, he said, “Gidda just cracked a joke. Didn’t you hear him?”

Gidda stared into his eyes.

Appi, Subba and I didn’t bother to intervene and left them alone.

“Be practical dude,” Gilli began. “If she is a chocolate pastry, you are a road side bonda. If she is a heroine, you are a spot boy. If she is MTV, you are Doordarshan. If she is Mercedes Benz, you are an auto rickshaw.” He paused for a moment and then said, “Did you get the idea?”

Appi smirked. Subba and I nodded in agreement.

“I think I got it, but you forgot to mention one more thing,” Gidda didn’t show any symptoms of anger or irritation.

“Really? What is it?”

“If she is a sophisticated Italian commode, I’m a ‘free to use’ Sulabh Shouchalay,” Gidda said as calmly as possible and took a sip of his coffee.

Listening to Gidda’s self analysis, Appi spilled her coffee, I started laughing hysterically, and Subba staggered and fell down, clutching his stomach. I wanted to help him, but he was in no mood to get up as he was literally rolling on the floor, laughing. Gilli grinned, scratching his head. Gidda didn’t seem to notice any of these things and continued sipping his coffee.

Once we had settled down, Gidda sat with his legs crossed and spoke up with a sudden access of pontificality. He mainly addressed Gilli.

“Listen to me, Baalak. A great sage called Will Smith once said, “No matter what, no matter who, no matter when, any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom.”

“Oye, there is a girl here. Mind it,” Appi warned with a touch of humour.

“Well, are you just saying or trying to prove it?” Subba said, grinning from ear to ear.

Appi punched him in the gut.

“But Guruji,” Gilli was saying, “don’t you think this is the age of vacuum cleaners, and not broom sticks?” The new master and his new disciple didn’t seem to notice anything that was happening around them.

“Kudos, my boy! You definitely have a bright future. You are right, by the way. This is the age of vacuum cleaners. We need to suck, not sweep. Take Anirudh for example: He is so fat he would still fall down if gravity ceased to exist from this universe. Now, doesn’t he have a girlfriend? He has, my boy. He has. Mind you, she is pretty. See this is what I’m going to prove in this fest.

Subba and I raised our eyebrows. Appi sipped her coffee and muttered under her breath, ‘Guys!’

“So when is your next assignment, Guruji?” Gilli asked, now bowing his head and joining his hands.

“Very soon, my boy. Very soon. Gita says you should just keep trying without worrying about the unforeseen ramifications. Well, not the Gita of Biotechnology dept., but Krishna’s Gita – again, not Nikita’s scumbag boyfriend Krishna, but the real Krishna from Great India.”

“Great India, Guruji?” Gilli asked innocently, his hands still joined.

“I meant Mahabharat, my boy.”

“Oh, Ok Guruji. I got it. The one who had 16,000 girlfriends,” Gilli said, bowing his head once again.

“Those girls are not gonna talk to you all for the rest of your college life, let alone this fest, you know?” Appi was referring to Junglee Billis.

“We can’t help that, Baalikey,” Gidda, our new found philosopher, was saying. “They are not mature enough to understand our theories.”

“Theories?” she asked, still smiling.

“Yes, Baalikey. Theories. We boys are born Ornithologists. We can’t help it. It’s encrypted in our DNA code. Ornithology is a great art just like poetry. In fact it is just another branch of poetry. Well, that makes us artists then, eh? And only mature people can understand an artist’s art and mind. If we do not practice this great art regularly, we are gonna lose it eventually, and we cannot afford that to happen. But as it so happens with every great artist, we sometimes have to face some resistance. For instance: Junglee Billis in our case. Should we ever get discouraged by such things, we won’t be able to create a name for ourselves in the world of Ornithology. So we’ve got to be brave and follow Gita,” Gidda finished his speech. It would be a cliché if I said that we were enlightened. So I won’t say, because I don’t deal with clichés.

Appi burst out laughing.

“Sushma was right when she said that you guys were sick,” she was still laughing.

“Correction, Baalikey. Correction. Didn’t you hear us properly? We are not sick. We suck!”

“You are going to ruin yourself if you continue with this Ornithology crap, you moron,” Appi said, tapping Gidda’s head.

“Baba Oscar Wilde once said, ‘To have ruined one’s self over poetry is an honour’. So I don’t mind ruining myself, for I am an honourable man,” our philosopher said and took a swig of coffee.

“Oh really? But I have never seen any of you flirting with the girls of our college, esp. the ones that have come to this fest. I wonder why,” Appi asked and threw her coffee cup in the waste basket.

“We only deal with exotic species, Baalikey. By the way, they are Junglee Billis. Ornithologists don’t deal with Billis. They deal with,”--- our philosopher was cut in.

“All right, all right. I don’t want to hear any more of this crap and get insulted. I am getting a call from….never mind. Just be there at stage 3 before 11 o’ clock, ok? Off I go. Do whatever you want,” Appi said and got up. She took a few steps away from us, then turned back once, smiled, shook her head and walked away.


4


“Ok, my boys. It’s time to take some real good pictures,” Gidda announced, taking his camera out of the pouch.

“Aye!” Subba and I said in chorus.

“One small question, Guruji,” Gilli said.

“Go on, my boy,” Gidda said and took the last sip of his coffee.

It was only when he threw his coffee cup that Subba and I noticed we still held the cups in our hands. Our coffee had already become cold. We took a copious draught of it and threw the cups in the dust bin.

“Why is that the girls who are around us never appear to be beautiful for us? I mean every girl looks beautiful other than the girls of our class, our department, our college, etc. I experienced this in my School days as well.”

“Hmmm. That’s a difficult question to answer, my boy. I’ve been trying to figure it out since my birth,” Gidda said, putting a hand on Gilli’s shoulder.

“Since your birth, Guruji?”

“Yes, my boy. When I came to this world 21 years ago, I found the nurse attending the baby lying on the bed next to mine to be more beautiful than the nurse that was attending me. I waggled and cried, but the nurse neglected my cries and said to my mother that I was beautiful. Damn it! If only the other nurse had said it, my baby days would’ve been more beautiful,” Gidda said. He continued after a momentary pause, “You know, it’s like buying an Aston Martin, and suddenly wishing you had bought a Lamborghini instead.”

“Yeah, right,” Gilli, Subba and I sang in chorus.

Gilli said slowly after a minute’s silence, “I’ve decided on something.”

“You make decisions too?” Subba humoured him.

“What is it, my boy?” Gidda asked his disciple.

“Well, I have decided not to introduce my girlfriend to anyone.”

Subba opened his mouth to say something, but before he could say anything, Gilli said, “I mean when I have one in the future.”

Well, Subba didn’t say anything as his query had been answered.

“Same here,” I said.

We then got up and started walking towards the breakfast hall. We saw four of our friends approaching us and waved at them.

It was 8.30 in the morning and we had just spent one hour of our 5 day tour.


********************The End********************


Copyright © Karthik 2009




Comments (35)

dunno what to say! i do not get involved in this GF stuffs...

but, i can say that it is very well written and good explanation of background!

kudos again :)

Ornithologists :O it is study of birds... not chicks! :P

Is it a true experience? I mean it rings true in every aspect... :D

ORNITHOLOGY!!hahaha...actually same is the case with gals if u dint know.Boyfriends of other girls always look a tad more tempting than our own...well not all cz the 'looker' male Vs 'looker' female ratio is oddly uneven. :P

long but nice... :)

i really liked abt the nurse thing..khe khe khe.. i think i cried too, for the same reason ;)
:D

Enjoyed reading this.
Hope you have a great tour.

my god, one hour and so much happened? you can write a novel of 3 (or maybe 5) volumes if you write about each of ur experience you know...

I loved the shulabh shauchalaya wala line :D

what i liked about this post pata hai? that you have written it for urself...I had to go back and read few lines just to make myself familiar with the characters, but once I was, then the flow was flawless...

its a nice read but a tad too long..
but i liked it though...
especially the comparison between gidda and the girls!!! very funny ...was laughing all the way through...
boys wil never change!!

@ Sundeep
You don't get involved with this stuff? Good for you dude.. :P
Well it's just fun. :D
Thanks a lot for the compliment, anyway!

@ Akansha
Is there a specific term for 'study of chicks'? :D :D I don't think so. That's why I settled for study of birds.. :P
And yes, most of it is true. On the contrary, these kinds of conversations take place all the time.. :P :P

@ Stupid fool
Ha ha ha.. I know it... :D
And I agree with the ratio theory perfectly.. :P

@ Anoop
You cried too? I am not surprised, dude. It's too obvious with boys. :D

@ Archana
Glad you liked it. It was some time ago, by the way.

@ Neha
Ha ha ha.. :-) Funny you should say that. I have already written a memoir as a matter of fact(not a big volume though). And this is a small chapter in it. I edited, wrote a few extra things and presented it in the form of a story. :D
But you know there is no much challenge involved in writing about things that have actually happened, as there is nothing new to create. :P
I'm very glad you enjoyed it. Thanks a million! :-)

@ Tanmaya
I'm happy that you enjoyed it. And you are right: boys will never change. Why should we, anyway? :P

u can reaLLI write a book boy!!!
the narration was good! i like !!
thats a true philosophy though-- that ' we never find people around us beautiful' waalah!! lol

Hey man gr8 post.

I noticed the huge length at first but once i started reading, i couldn't stop!!!

I loved the played guitar with veins thing and the philosopy stuff too

Its common that we notice galz of other colleges as pieces of art! the grass is greener on the other side! lol

yojitha - Thanks a lot! That was a nice compliment. Glad you enjoyed reading! :-)

Saurabh - Thank you so much, man. Pieces of art, did you say? lol..
You are absolutely right!
I'm happy you enjoyed reading.

You are so good at depicting emotions of college guys n gals...The way you present the naughty one-liners and comments really tickles my funny bone...Keep it going man!!

Reminds me of the song..."Hum to aise hai bhaiyya!" :P Boys will be boys even at that age when they are referred to as "men"!

@ Anima
I did tickle your funny bone, eh? I'm proud of it. Very happy that you enjoyed it. Thanks a lot!

@ Raksha
You bet! Boys will be boys! :P
Hope you enjoyed.

Haha nicely written......thought it was a bit similar to your other stories but got better the deeper one reads in to it.

But one small heartfelt correction: Angels don't play with your heart and strum your veins.....those would rather be devils :P

Guys would be guys..!!!! ;)

Nice story BTW....!!Really got a lot of Gyaan 4m this..!!

Hope u hv a god time at the fest..!!!Enjoy..!!! :)

Aaahaaa....These things happened in 1 hour? You can write volumes and make a feature film.

But what I could make out of these episode is that you seem to be a quiet boy; not speaking much..huh? Or is that only once in a while?

Dude... this was one story that made me laugh reminding me of my days back in my Med college... I think the same philosophy runs in most of GUYs group.. ornithologists/gals from our group or college never look beautiful to our eyes/Cup of coffee discussions...but the presentation done here is excellent. Good work, keep writing! And ya, Shimoga gals!!! he he he...

@ Murali
You are right. They weren't angels, but devils. Beautiful devils, I mean! :P
Glad you enjoyed it!

@ Urvashi
Damn right you are. Guys would be guys! You got some gyan from this? lol.. :D I'm happy about it. :P

@ Insignia
Welcome to Eloquence Redefined. :-)
Oh, yes, I can go on writing about it. Every minute is worth remembering. :-)
Did you say I was a quiet boy? lol... :D :D :D
I'm everything but that. :P
Glad you enjoyed it. :-)

@ Sihys
I bet you were reminded of your days, man. I'm very glad to know that you enjoyed it. And yes, Shimoga girls!!! Phew!!! :D
Thanks a lot!

awesum...felt good after reading..d best part was nurse thng...n i really understand how difficult it is 2 write sumthn dat has happend as u cant change it..jus can change the presentatin style..loved it as i alwayzzz do

“Why is that the girls who are around us never appear to be beautiful for us? I mean every girl looks beautiful other than the girls of our class, our department, our college, etc. I experienced this in my School days as well.”


lols .. rightly said
for the rest of the post ... i was attending a youth fest last week .. i know the feeling ;)

@ Vineet
Thanks a lot, man. I'm glad you liked it. Narration is all that is important, isn't it?

@ Naveen
You were attending a youth fest? That's great. :-)
Nice to know you liked the post.

Nice post. Brought back college memories, especially why we would be in various teams -- free attendance and some fun on the side like you detail..

Tumkur ? :-) My brother was in KIT Tiptur and me from RVCE ...

I could swear all this was a scene from an RVCE fest..

Got nostalgic, huh? :-)
Free attendance is a bonus actually.
You are from RVCE? That's great.
This particular youth fest I've written about happened in Tumkur. But you know, no matter which college, the scenario is always the same. :-)
Glad you liked it.

the story was amazing the title itself was quite alluring I must say...

I have tried my hand in writing stories...but then the art of compacting my thoughts to a page or two...is something I am yet to learn, thus all I have in stalk are unfinished, meandering novels or novellas...with endless, details and unnecessary characters crowding in the main frame... this was a real incident or a imaginary one..has little importance to me..all that matters is that it was a brilliant read...

There are days when just want to stroll along with one of our close friends, sip a cup of warm coffee and talk endlessly...this was one such a moment transcribed through words...

with regards
shreya

you might be confused about my previous comment...for what you wrote was on a different aspect and what I have just said was totally different..all that I said was an afterthought to what your title inspired me to think...

and your story was quite obviously a story of coming to age...am I right?

@ Shreya
Welcome to Eloquence Redefined. It gives me great pleasure to know that you enjoyed it thoroughly. Thanks a lot!
And no; I didn't get confused with your first comment. I very well understood what you were trying to say.
I too have a stack of unfinished stories. Half in my hard disk, half in my head. Dunno when they'll take shape. :P
Speaking about the write-up, I don't consider it as a story. You know, these kinds of conversations take place all the time when we are with close friends. And when associated with coffee, it's heaven. That's what I wanted to show: friends, gup-shup, coffee, PJs, and of course philosophy! :D
By the way, it's based on a true and silly incident. :D
Glad you enjoyed reading. Thanks again! :-)

@karthik

they say words are few and very old
circulating all around us
in thin air
as one language
got divided into many
the expressions got broken into several forms
when you wrote the draught
and when I read the draught
a tiny drop formed in my mind

and, lo!
from the ancient thin air

the drop appeared on the white paper

each of us
are unique
and in our unique ways
we inspire each other

we twist and turn the words
to say the same old thing

yes we say the same old thing...

I have written a story too...

its there in my blog...

http://wanderer-of-the-world.blogspot.com/2009/09/my-first-short-story.html

you can read it and comment

would love to get some comments from your side!

@ Shreya
Damn! That was great. I wonder how you write so spontaneously without thinking much. :-)
I shall soon read your story.
Thanks very much. :-)

Another great post as always...

Thanks a lot, Roshmi. :-)

You might also like

Related Posts with Thumbnails

My Library

Karthik's Book Montage

The Negotiator
Malgudi Days
As The Crow Flies
Swami and Friends
The Devil's Alternative
The Picture of Dorian Gray
The Godfather
The Seven Minutes
The Prize
Atlas Shrugged
The Fountainhead
If Tomorrow Comes
Digital Fortress
The Chancellor Manuscript
The Bourne Supremacy
The Bourne Identity
The Fist of God
The Fourth Protocol
The Odessa File
The Day of the Jackal


Karthik's favorite books »