spoon

Verbal Copulation!

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I never fucking use profanity; not even in my fucking stories, let alone in my fucking everyday life. But I am certain that there are some noble souls out there who take pride in using it and they use it extensively. That splendid word ‘Fuck’ appears in every fucking sentence they speak. They may not know how to use the words ‘joie de vivre’ or ‘bon vivant,’ but they definitely know how to use the word ‘Fuck’ in every aspect of their dialects. There was a time when the word ‘Shit’ was very popular, but now that word has been replaced by ‘Fuck.’ I wonder which word will replace this in the future (my imagination is already running wild). Well, there was also a time when we used to raise our fucking eyebrows upon hearing this word used by someone, but now we raise our eyebrows if one doesn’t use it. Ah, such a fucking irony!

A few days ago I was going through my eclectic collection of mp3s and I stumbled upon a small audio file titled ‘Osho.’ Some wonderful soul had e-mailed this file a long time ago, but unfortunately I neither had the patience, nor the time to listen to some rambling talks of some philosophical guru. After much debating with myself, I finally scrounged up some courage and decided to listen to it anyway. And when I did, I was fucking surprised. I wondered why I didn’t listen to it all these days. It was surely an eye opener. Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh aka Osho (1931-1990) seems to have done an extensive research on the word ‘Fuck.’ The audio clip was just over 5 minutes and here I am posting the exact words said by Osho. Over to Osho:

It is one of the most beautiful words. English language should be proud of it. I don’t think any other language has any such beautiful word. One of the most interesting words in English language today is the word ‘Fuck.’ It is one magical word, just by its sound; it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. In language, it falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive and intransitive.

Transitive: John fucked Mary.

Intransitive: Mary was fucked by John.

As a noun: Mary is a fine fuck.

As an adjective: Mary is fucking beautiful.

As you can see there are not many words with the versatility of ‘Fuck.’ Besides the actual meaning, there are also the following uses.

Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lots.

Ignorance: Fucked, if I know.

Trouble: I guess I am fucked now.

Aggression: Fuck you!

Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?

Difficulty: I can’t understand this fucking job.

Incompetence: He is a fuck off.

Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing?

Enjoyment: I had a fucking time.

Request: Get the fuck out of here.

Hostility: I am going to knock your fucking head off.

Greeting: How the fuck are you?

Apathy: Who gives a fuck!

Innovation: Get a bigger fucking hammer.

Surprise: Fuck! You scared the shit out of me.

Anxiety: Today is really fucked.

This was it! He then goes on to say that repeating the mantra “Fuck you!” 5 times soon after getting up in the morning clears your throat. How fucking cool is that! This audio clip and my own personal experiences with so many fucking uncultured and uncivilized people who use this beautiful word all the time really inspired me to find out more about it. So, I started digging, and eventually I found out some fucking etymological facts which I am posting here. I found 3 stories related to ‘Fuck’s’ discovery. But which one is true? You shall have to figure it out for yourselves.

1. In ancient England a person could not have sex unless he had the consent of the King (or unless he was in the Royal Family). When people wanted to have a baby, they first had to get the consent of the King; the King then gave them a placard that they hung on their door while having sex. The placard had F.U.C.K. (Fornication Under the Consent of the King) written on it.

2. F.U.C.K. originated in the 1800s in London, when someone would be punished for prostitution. It was an acronym for the words, “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.” These words were written on the cells that held these criminals. Some time later the officers got sick and tired of writing these words, so they abbreviated to F.U.C.K. Later on they just started writing FUCK (without full stops).

Now, the third story is pretty interesting. Besides the etymological theory, it also explains the origin of the usage of middle finger. Read on.

3. Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger, it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow; and therefore, they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew'). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, “See, we can still pluck yew!” Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental’s fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one finger salute. It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as ‘giving the bird.’ As the centuries passed by ‘yew’ became ‘you’ since both are pronounced in the same way. So, fuck you!

These are the three stories behind the discovery of ‘FUCK.’ So, what do you think? Did your knowledge base expand? Good for you! Congratu-fucking-lations! Now you know that ‘FUCK’ is not just a word, but it is a fascinating subject to be studied and researched. Some amazing people like Bruce Willis, Quentin Tarantino, Guy Ritchie, Tupac Shakur, Eminem, 50 Cent and many more have contributed a lot to this subject and we, their fucking disciples, should follow their foot steps and never fucking let them down.

Maybe someday in the future, children at school shall learn Eminem’s lyrics instead of William Butler Yeats’s poems. Maybe someday, teachers might say to their students, “Why the fuck haven’t you done your homework?” to which the students might answer, “Because, I was fucking out of station.”

Dear folks, it’s time that we start introspecting. Do we really want to set these kinds of examples to our younger generation? Do we really want some 10 yr old kid to say to us, “Fuck you, oldie! Can’t you just mind your own fucking business?”

Well, I didn’t think so. So, come on, all of you. Let’s swear on Oxford, Merriam-Webster and Collins that we shall never fucking use profanity.

*********

(Hope you liked this fucking article).


Copyright © Karthik 2009

Comments (39)

Fuck! Man....this is so fucking cool.Felt like being fucking enlightened.You have done a fucking good job.. cheers!!!!!!

Thank you so fucking much, dude! ;)

wat a fuckin post budyy..u r nt fucked up bt d way u fk all was fukin good...fuk rox fukingly

well.....is this wht im thinking it is? God i was in a bad mood dude..cool read though!

he he.. intersting post!! v v different!!! Cheers man..keep writing such ****ing articles:P

@ Stupid fool
No, dear. It isn't what you are thinking. Chill! ;)

@ Vineet and Benny
Thanks a lot, guys. I appreciate you showing up and commenting.

Pretty cool article.. History of this f*** word was really interesting... Its sad this such a word as become a everyone's vocab. i know ppl who think its cool to use this word every now and then without meaning or context.. and i use this word only when i meet such f***ed up ppl

hahaha!! awesum fuckin article!!!! it was a beauty!!!! m gonna make sure my buddies read it too!!! haha!! m stil laughin over it!!!

its too good.. ha ha ha.. even i had a good laugh when i had heard osho's speech for the first time...

@ Vikash
Agree with you. It was a satirical take on the topic (doesn't mean i don't use it though.. ha ha.. ;) ) But am just against its excessive usage.

@ Ashmi
Thanks a bunch, dude! You are such a noble soul. I really appreciate it.
(I tried to visit your blog, but your profile wasn't visible. Go to settings and change it immediately and let me read your blog too)

@Tanmaya
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed.

fucking hilarious!

I have heard Osho's speech and I know the Fornication Under Consent of King theory, but I didn't know about the pluck you concept.

Interesting post really. I enjoyed reading it.

FUCK tat was a nice post very informative as well

even i wonder wat proceeds FUCK in future coz i got a wild imagination as well

:)

Its Fukking Good Post Dude

wow thats very innovative to blog on the word f**k.
Very funny and interesting post.

@ Sudhir Kekre, Pappu, Neha, Akshay, angel from heaven
Thank you all very much. I am glad you enjoyed it.

one helluva post man!!
liked it very much!!especially tat use of fuck in various situations..
i got fucked up in used car shop r somethin na..!lolz!
gud job

do chek my blog too in return :)
www.d-bucks.blogspot.com

keep up friend!

what a fuckin coincidence!...first of all i have also penned a post that walks on the same line...plus i dun fuckin use any crap profanities..:P
but i must say..very well communicated...crisp n direct...u r fuckin on it dude!..grt job..
ciao

wowwie!!! quite a f**kin research!!
worth a read for all those good for nothing f**k users!!!
i like!!

That was interesting......i wont use any profanities though!!

Ok wow.. i don't know whether to call this post fuckin cool or fuckin -super cool:D..
coz either ways it was one funny,ironical post.

And bdw, Was that audio clip by Osho some kinda mock thing or did he actually say all that?? :O
coz i still cannot digest the fact that an over-hyped religious guy like Osho would have said that.
Anyways even if he said that, I feel after such a detailed analysis of the dirty(rather the most loved) 4 letter F word, he deserves a Nobel prize for sure :-D
Omg!.. now don't tell me people have started an indepth detailed analysis & research on this subject..(LMAO)
Seriously now I guess I have added a lot more to my knowledge base spl. historical one after reading the 3 supposed origins of the F word..

Kudos!..Gud job done :)

@ Shruti
Ha ha ha... lol.. It's funny you should think like that. Well, the audio clip is not a mock thing. He has actually said it. You shall also hear his disciples laughing their guts out. Just type the keywords 'Osho' and 'F##K' in google, i'm sure you'll get a lot of links.

@ All
Thanks very much for appreciating my post. You guys rock!

omg!.. i guess i got crazy now..
I searched it n got the video..
Couldn't help but LMAO :D
I found it so humorous dat i shared it on my fb a/c

hmmm....you researched a lot.

This ariticle just makes me to think that..every "word" is so invaluable!

Awsome fuckin post dude!!

Did Osho Actually say these things....woah!! :P

Anyway, abo-fucking-lutely wonderful post...come up fun reads like this more fuckin often:P

Fuckin Cheers
CRD

@ CRD
Thanks a bunch, dude. Glad you liked it. Keep visiting!

haha!!! that was Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Awesome..

May...yu have accomplished something here : )

gr8 stuff dude

loved this post and especially loved the fact that all the people commenting used the F Word liberally as well.... as if they were dying to release themselves! lol

@ Sorcerer
Glad you enjoyed it.

@ Saurabh
You went through my old post? Thanks man. I really appreciate it.
As for the article, I don't really appreciate people using F word, hence a satirical take on the topic. Glad you enjoyed reading it.

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Hats off.. hilarious and very insightful post. I am sure many of us use this word without knowing the real meaning to it. And I totally support u on the Say No to Profanity campaign. Lovely post.. I am so glad I stumbled upon it.

@ Annyesha,
Hehehe.. :D
Thank you thank you. *bows*
Using profanity is really not so cool. Glad to know you agree with me. :)

Fucking interesting post ever read..good

Nats, welcome to Eloquence Redefined. So glad you enjoyed it, man. Keep visiting!

the first time I hear about this, was from an MP3 (and believe me, listening to the man talking about the word "FUCK" is much more hilarious than reading this).

Can anyone let me know where to find it. And please, don't tell me to google it, because I've fucking tried it *LOL*

You are right.

What quite good topic

Can someone share the audio file here, loved reading it, would fucking enjoy listening to it.

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